The William C. Doublestein Official Seal of Approval

Here is a copy of my speech introducing my official seal of approval. This is for the Summit staff auction, a fundraiser for smuggling Bibles, Christian flags, "Jesus" films, and video players to the people of Sudan. Session 1 raised $178.


Hello and good evening,

By now I suspect that most of you have heard speculation on the significance of the William C. Doublestein Official Seal of Approval, and it is my hope that in the few minutes I can clear up any misconceptions. You may be wondering, what value is my approval to you? Will it change your life? Will it take you places you’ve only dreamed? Will it make people like you? Think you’re cool? Will it capture the attention of that special girl enough to make her fall in love with you? And of course the answer to all these questions is a loud and strong YES.

When you buy my approval, you will join a group of the coolest, most-looked up to, trendy, and classy people in the entire world. Complete with your very own certificate of authenticity, video message for your Facebook, and immortal display of your name on the approval board to be displayed in the Summit hotel (possibly forever), it is certain that opportunities like these don’t present themselves every day. But don’t take my word for it.

Jon Eliot McClure, a Texan approved in 2009 had this to say: “The William C. Doublestein Seal of Approval helped give me the confidence to start coaching middle school basketball teams, and run training camps through the summer. It has also boosted my awesomenisity and oober style while landscaping in Texas, where I plan on becoming a fireman.“ Thanks Jon.

Or perhaps Esther Jentzen, a Michigander also approved in 2009, who said (and I quote), “It has given me so much confidence to know that I HAVE WILL'S APPROVAL!! Before I had the William C Doublestein Seal of Approval I was lost, just a typical kid not knowing what I could achieve. But now I have a new found faith in myself and am inspired to follow my dream of being awesome.”

Ladies and gentlemen, in closing I want to present to you a question. Dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to have the William C. Doublestein Official Seal of Approval? Think on this, and bid for the kids of Sudan. Thank you.